Workplace Safety

Dwight Schrute, of the Office, has these important tips:

Workers are getting injured, sick, and are dying in EVERY office, EVERY day. You cannot avoid it. Unless you do the following.

1. Do not fall. Falls (e.g. down stairs, out doors, windows, etc.) are dangerous and lead to fractures, sprains, contusions and death.

2. Do not burn yourself. Overheating your tea is a good way to burn yourself. Do you want that? In order to assure that your skin is not harmed, tea should not be heated to more than 98.6 degrees.

3. Stay in your seat. By staying in your seat, you are less likely to encounter any of these hazards. Wait until you have 3 tasks to do, and then get up.

One of my officemates thinks I'm “being ridiculous” and “should seek counseling.” Well, fine, Jim. Do not follow these safety rules. Good luck getting through the month of February which is by far the most deadly 28 days of the year.