Creative Fractions

One of my 5th grade boys wrote this number story on a homework assignment.

I jumped off a cliff and was 3/4 down when a bird chopped off 3/8 of me. 1/8 more [I think he means falling] and I hit a rock sticking out of the cliff, and 1/4 fell off of me. How much of me got chopped off?

Before you get the wrong idea, he's actually a very well adjusted boy, who just happens to be very creative and reads a lot of fantasy. Sure makes reading number stories a lot more entertaining!

Addendum: In the rest of the class's number stories, ninety percent of the students used the name Bob. What's up with that?